Jamarcus is #1! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Eat shit Ohio State and Notre Dame! Troy Smith, yeah he’s the best player in college football, and ESPN’s been all over Brady Quinn for the past month. You can fool america ESPN, but you can’t fool the people that get paid to do this for a living.
Detroit Lions: Calvin Johnson. I’ll buy it. He’s good.
Cleveland: Joe Thomas? Are you fucking kidding me? Why not draft Brady Quinn here? At the very least he’d sell tickets…..
Tampa: Gaines Adams. Don’t know much about him.
Arizona: Levi Brown. Must be a lunchpail guy, they named the work jeans after him.
Washington: LaRon Landry. The Redskins need a lot of help in the secondary. WOO MOTHERFUCKIN HOOOO!!!!! Another tiger picked.
By the way, who is that ugly chick with Brady Quinn?
Minnesota: Adrian Peterson. Somebody put in the reservation for the party boat!
Atlanta: Jamaal Anderson. Thank god we don’t have to play against him anymore. Hopefully he works out well I like to see SEC guys do well.
Miami: Tedd Ginn. Good pick, he’ll stay injury free since the NFL is cracking down on touchdown dances.
Houston: Amobi Okoye. Whatever, another defensive lineman for the Texans. I guess they plan on winning games by scoring safetys?
I fucking hate Keyshawn Johnson. Somebody throw him the damn ball when he’s not looking and knock him out so that I don’t have to deal with him.
San Francisco: Patrick Willis. I’m feeling dejected at this point. I was hoping the Jets (my team) would trade up for this guy.
Buffalo: Marshawn Lynch? huh? I know the Bills need a running back, but Lynch is A) Unimpressive against good teams, and B) Gauranteed to be in jail within the next five years.
St. Louis: Adam Carricker. I guess that’s a good pick.
J – E – T – S JETS JETS JETS. Anyone else notice the jets fan on TV without any teeth? Maybe he should buy a toothbrush instead of tickets to the draft.
New York Jets: Fuckin’ eh we traded up! I wonder who we’re gonna get. Probably a badass that is going to make my day. Darelle Revis? Who the fuck is that? He plays in the Big East!!!??!!?!?!?? SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! Okay I’m officially a Raiders fan from now on. Fuck this. I would rather the Jets draft a junior high kid with a herion problem.
Pittsburgh: Larry Timmons. Not really familliar with him.
I have to laugh every time I see “Key Losses: QB Aaron Brooks” when the raiders information ticks by on the screen.
Nice cheer Giants fans. Fags.
Green Bay: DT Justin Harrell. He’s good but is he 16th pick good? And what happened to Alan Branch?
Denver: Jarvis Moss. The Jets would have been better off picking him.
Cincinnati: Leon Hall. Yeah, that’s the guy you want, the one who was part of an atrocious pass D that let Ohio State score almost 50 points.
Tennessee: Michael Griffin. Solid.
New York Giants are on the clock!!!! I hope they pick Brady Quinn, so he can suck just as much as Eli Manning. Who is that blonde with Brady Quinn? She is so getting dumped tomorrow.
What’s that Suzy? Brady Quinn is being sequestered by Roger Goddell? Pussy.
I’ve been thinking, maybe the Jets picked a CB because they know that Buffalo will have no running game with Marshawn in jail or riding around the sidelines in his mario cart.
Who the fuck paints their face for the NFL draft?
Alan Branch, another guy that would have been a better pick for the JETS.
Giants: Aaron Ross, CB, Texas. Another guy that would be a good pick for the Jets if you were going to take a corner. At least it’s a southern guy for corey webster to hang out with.
Jacksonville: Yeah, Reggie Nelson, he’s awesome — good job.
Will Dallas pick Quinn? I would be shocked — they’ve already got Romo, but then again, Romo didn’t go to Notre Dame. I still can’t believe that Quinn gets his own private room so that nobody sees him cry. Quinn has been such a fag during the draft process, he was a total dick to Jamarcus Russell when they were working out at the same facility, and he’s been all over ESPN like white on rice.
I guess I could see Cleveland trading up? Maybe New England; it could be Brady vs. Brady for the starting job in 2009.
Cleveland Browns (from Dallas): This has got to be Brady Quinn. Neat picture of him as a 4 year old. Okay they made hte pick. Good for him. He’s coming out of the private room where he’s been sequestered. You like to see things work out, it’s where he wanted to go. I feel good for him.
He’s still a big pussy, but I feel good for him.
And I still hate the Jets for picking Darelle Revis.
Kansas City: Dewayne Bowe. Mixed feelings on this one. He’s great in almost every aspect: except for the fact that his hands are questionable. Next time Kansas City plays the raiders I say they make Bowe a defensive back — since he was the one receiver russell would lock on for every play.
New England: Brandon Merriweather. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he fucks up for the first time in front of Belechick.
Carolina: John Beason. Hmmm…..2 defensive players from Miami in the first round? Ok so they ranked 7th in total defense last year, but for fucks sakes they went 7-6, and easily could have been 3-9. They only beat Duke by 5 points.
Dallas: Anthony Spencer, Purdue. It’s like Jerry Jones is fucking with us on this one. Why?????
New Orleans: Robert Meachem. I’m still pissed that he went to Tennessee he is an awesome WR. This is a great pick!
San Francisco: Robert Staley, Central Michigan. You’re reaching on this one.
Baltimore: Ben Grubbs — he’s pretty good.
San Diego: BUSTER DAVIS! I love this kid, he works really hard. Bowe got all the press this year but I thought Buster was at least equal with Bowe, if not better. The reason why LSU won’t suffer much after losing these two wide receivers is that Early Doucet is better than both of them. And he’s never late.
Chicago: Greg Olsen, TE, Miami. (Shakes his head, leaves the room). A third Miami player drafted? Miami is this year’s NC State. I suppose that these guys that are doing the picking probably know better than me.
Indianapolis: Anthony Gonzalez. I’ll give Bill Polian the benefit of the doubt on this one.
ok that’s enough live blogging for now.
